Lately, I have been discouraged and whiny. I still am a little bit, but yet again I have been the recipient of quiet kindness, which is always a happy surprise. Someone who doesn’t know me at all had an unfortunate view of the person she thinks I am, and someone else who doesn’t know me at all was kind enough to voice an opposing view. Last week at work was tough too. Happily, my husband and I had our faith in basic human decency restored yet again. We know we’re lucky that we can work together and we still like each other at the end of the day. It would really suck to work this hard for someone else and not be able to express ourselves without qualm. (Read whatever you want into that!)
Last weekend while I was in Portland, missing my husband, I saw a 30 something couple at lunch with their baby. Since the weather was unusually mild, the deck was open and they chose a table with an umbrella so they could put the sleeping baby in the shade. As I watched them, I thought how nice it must be for them to be able to have lunch out together while the baby napped. Then… they took out their cell phones and began to text! I was dismayed. It never occurred to me that they could be weekend workers taking advantage of a Saturday lunch to at least see one another as a family. I jumped to conclusions about total strangers and made an unfair assumption regarding technology and human relationships. I should have taken a minute to consider the alternatives.
The third thing is I’m old, blind, and I don’t have time to squander. I like to be presentable but it is a chore to get that way, partially because I can’t see as well as I used to, thus it takes more time. In fact, I discovered I was losing my vision because it became more challenging to attend to my pedicure. I can remember a time when I did not have to knot myself up like a pretzel to manage a basic pedicure. I used to laze away a work night or a Saturday morning in personal maintenance and it was ENJOYABLE. Now-not so much! In order to see my feet, which are only 5′3″ from my head, I have to stand on one foot (If you can still see, I dare you to go in the bathroom and try this) with the other foot on the toilet seat, while wearing my readers, then lean down so my shoulder is supported by the knee above the foot that is on the toilet seat and my head is approximately 14 inches away from my foot and I can see well enough to clip and file my toenails! It’s unseemly, the whole damn thing is in diametric opposition to femininity and hints at a vast array of indignities to come. Yeah, I know I could go to a salon but then a stranger would be touching my feet…
So please forgive me if I’m not as congenial as I used to be, it’s not that I’ve lost my faith in humanity, it’s just that I’m weary but very grateful for all that I have.