Monthly Archives: March 2012

Originally posted on Zwinglius Redivivus:
Via Chris Tilling: Apparently, this is a real reply from the UK Inland Revenue. The Guardian newspaper had to ask for special permission to print it.  The funniest part of this is imagining the content…

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Lottery Losers

Big, sad, sigh. I did not win. To be more precise, my husband didn’t win. Mind you, I live in a state that identifies marital property as “all property acquired by either spouse after the marriage” so half the jackpot would … Continue reading

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If I were the king of the world….

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Never Surrender

I wouldn’t like to be defined by what I cannot do; although, it won’t trouble me greatly to be defined by what I will not do, the activities I have rejected. I won’t beg. At least I won’t beg for … Continue reading

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Vidalia’s Deductions

Pride was expensive. Mom worked hard, as a school secretary, while she finished her teaching degree. She cleaned rich people’s cottages through summer breaks. The song Harper Valley PTA was popular during that period of our childhood. My stomach was squeezed by … Continue reading


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Vidalia’s Loyalties

Before my parents divorced, my dad, whom I loved for his weakness and vulnerability, held a gun to my mother’s head. This followed the beating during which he’d choked her so hard she’d had to wear a turtleneck in July. … Continue reading

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Introducing Vidalia

My father went to Vidalia, Georgia one time. It was before he met my mother, after a hitch in the army, sometime between Korea and Vietnam. The onions impressed him enough that he decided to commemorate them christening his firstborn, … Continue reading

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Orderly Affairs

There is poignancy in settling her affairs, nostalgia in the conclusion of her life. I’ve paid her bills and managed to sell her house. I feel like I’m stealing from her every time I write a check.

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Keeping Peace

He tells me about doing things he’ll never be able to do. I know he won’t. Deep inside he knows it too. Mostly, we talk about how great it was when we were kids. It wasn’t great but I pretend … Continue reading

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Musical Laughter

From an email to my siblings in 2003 as we comforted my dying brother: “I found a great deal on music and picked up Fleetwood Mac Rumors, Grateful Dead, Gunz-n-Roses and (no facetious remarks from you jaded jerks) a very … Continue reading

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