Morning Walk

Lately, I’ve taken to walking for health & sanity in the morning. I usually leave my ball and chain behind on my desk at 8, or a little after, to walk for 20 minutes, reverse direction and return to Hippy Hill.

The walk balances my spirits but not the way you’d think. I walk along, happy to be alive, inhaling spring. I imagine Somewhere Else. I cannot look at a body of water without thinking of going Somewhere Else. Getting there eludes me.

I’ve always wanted to be Somewhere Else. Just before my ill-fated first marriage (all seven months), DC Wilbur said to Poor David, “If you marry her, you’ll have to follow her. Is that how you want to spend your life?”

While I’m walking I make diabolical plans to move my husband Somewhere Else. Before I met him, I liked searching for Somewhere Else alone. Tonight, I suggested Somewhere Else might not be far from here and we could split our time between here and there. He was receptive to the concept, it being a safe abstract.

I like to think of living Somewhere Else. Somewhere Else used to represent a place where I’d love someone who loved me the right way, somebody worthy of naive trust. I actually made that trip. I liked it so much I became a citizen.

Now, Somewhere Else is relief from the sensation of being trapped here by pressures that are not mine. Somewhere Else is more relaxed than here. Somewhere Else might not be a final destination.

Advertisements

About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
This entry was posted in Human Condition and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Morning Walk

  1. gkinnard says:

    Lot of deep thinking here—soul searching. Perhaps you are on the verge of figuring something out?

    • elroyjones says:

      I don’t know, George. I suspect all people go through these periods. As kids, we imagine life becomes simpler with self governance instead it becomes more complex.

      We talk about leaving, packing what we need, leaving the door unlocked and going somewhere. That’s not realistic. There are too many people who rely on us, family and stragglers. It’s not fair to allow people to believe that you’ll be there and then just vanish. Grinning…it would be kinda fun though, some of them would have to grow up!

      I’m not a very competitive person, more laid back- I just want to BE, man.

    • elroyjones says:

      Oh for the love of Gawd! I just wrote the long answer and it vanished! The short answer is we’re both tired of the stress of having so many people dependent on us. It’s not as bad as it was though. We used to look at each other at night and say, “This is horrible.”

      Oh sweet, now the long answer shows up!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s