I’m subject to recurring epiphanies.
To paraphrase a world famous blogger, money is a distraction. I know money is a distraction, that it is meaningless in the panorama of abstracts- love, harmony, and happiness, all of which are dependent on our perceptions of them.
Abstractions are qualified when someone we love dies and what’s left is a pile of their possessions and the money they’ve managed to save. All of it loses meaning in the absence of the person it once belonged to. I hope to use the resources I have, while I”m still here, to make memories.
Power is also an abstraction. In a former life, back in the land before time began, I had zero responsibility. I was anonymous. In this incarnation, where I have acquired people, I’ve had to step up, roaring, like a mouse, at bureaucracy. I’ve discovered that power is a concept that only has the control, over my life, that I allow it to have.
My husband has children from a distant marriage. The descendants have been in my life for most of theirs. Those testosterone infused offspring would test the patience of the most benevolent person. I will never be mistaken for the most benevolent person. They drive me crazy, over a road filled with potholes. They’re in their twenties now. I have reiterated The Rules of Engagement to them; I will not engage if they are disrespectful to my husband. I’d like to believe that this time The Rules have sunk in.
I have an extensive genetic family. They can be tiring. I’ll do the best I can from a healthy distance. I am trying to ignore meaningless abstractions. Life is much shorter than it used to be. It’s much easier to be happy.