Social gatherings don’t have the least bit of allure to me. Large groups of people, who are familiar to me, create distress and discomfort in my delicate psyche. Performance anxiety, I’m pretty sure that’s what it is.
Practically everyone who knows me, knows I won’t attend a large gathering…but I will send a gift. I didn’t have “weddings”. The first time I hustled down the aisle, my intended’s (using the term loosely, intended implies a plan, as we all know there wasn’t one) family was present but I didn’t feel the need to implicate any of my family in the proceeding. A party followed, with gallons of liquor, the over-the-counter anesthetic.
My husband and I married all by ourselves, with the exception of the legally required witnesses, one of whom was a total stranger. We had a fine time. We went home where I ejected breakfast. My husband held my head and made me a magical float with ginger ale and vanilla ice cream to settle my stomach. Vows to milkshake-2 hours, no cocktails.
Under duress, I will attend celebrations and funerals. There are people in the world I love too much to send regrets to. Maybe it’s sensory overload, chatter, chatter, chatter, too much information all at once, too many people, too much. I’m pretty sure I truly like all the people I like, I just don’t like them all bunched up together.
I know there are others like me, there’s one right here in this house.