Trust. Total confidence in the integrity, ability, and good character of another; so says Webster’s.
A couple of years ago I had an email conversation with one of the dearest people in my life. We discussed successful romantic relationships. Specifically, how I managed to find myself in the place I am in mine, seesawing between manslaughter and euphoria. We don’t pretend to feel any other way than how we feel here on Hippy Hill and we are not afraid to communicate our feelings. I wrote to my friend, “First, you have to trust.” I kept that email, because it said a LOT of nice things, printed it off and put it away for my husband in case I die first so
he won’t have any doubts there will be plenty of crying. Damn straight. I don’t mind a successor wife, I guess, as long as there is plenty of crying first.
Trust has been an integral part of our marriage, which is lovely for me and (one supposes) for my husband but it has a much broader application in our lives. Trust trumps fear, it trumps mean, and unfair.
Recently, I stayed in a hotel for a few days. I arrived in town prior to check in. The front desk clerk tagged my bag and kept it for me, while I did whatever it is that I do when I return to civilization. I returned to check in and my bag was there, intact. When I checked out I left a favorite, old dress behind. I called them and they shipped it to me, free of charge. I anticipated the outcome. I trusted them.
Every morning I wake up trusting that I will be happy. My siblings and I trust that we will be there for each other in times of need. The descendants trust that, no matter the degree of exasperation, we will always be available in a legitimate emergency. We have business relationships where trust is implicit. It’s the foundation for all of the happy, good things in our lives. It’s the reason parents teach children not to lie. The times I have felt threatened were times when trust was lacking.
Trusting that we can make the world a better place, building on that trust by cultivating honesty and empathy in the spirit of fairness, will be self-fulfilling. Trust.