Subjective Proof

An ambulance came and scraped me off the pavement, where I’d landed after my flight was interrupted when my head hit the guardrail, after being ejected from a vehicle traveling 60 mph. A body in motion remains in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. I had no vital signs.

It was night. My long hair was disheveled. I felt more peaceful than I have ever felt in a state of consciousness. I looked down at the hair all over my face and observed, objectively, with no emotion, “It’s a shame to die on a day when you’re so profoundly unhappy.”

As soon as I was released from the hospital, people began to tell me how “lucky” I’d been. I didn’t appreciate the sentiment. I will decide when I am lucky, thank you very much.

For quite a while I believed in an afterlife, but not an omnipotent deity. I read an article on neuroscience and the out of body experience. It seems a lot of people have the white light tunnel experience but not me. Likely due to the fact that I’m a heathen non-believer.

The writer suggested that the near death experience is nothing more than misfiring neurons as the brain signs off and the body dies. It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other. I can’t remember where I was before I was born so I’m not worried about what happens after I die.

I don’t believe in god. I cannot. I don’t see proof. I believe in what I am capable of doing all by myself. I believe in science.

Last week, a sweet, old woman asked me if I believed in god. I told her I did not. She asked me if my parents believed, I told her they did. She voiced the opinion that I’d believe too. I cannot imagine a time or circumstance in which I will believe in god. I am certainly not going to try to deprive a sweet, old woman of the beliefs that comfort her.

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About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
This entry was posted in Autonomy and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Subjective Proof

  1. Well, you know that I believe and trust in God with my life. I promise you, though, that if I ever make it to Maine and we have that lunch, I won’t beat you over the head with my Bible. I promise! 🙂 Thanks for continuing to encourage me in my writing, even though our beliefs are so different. I really appreciate you.

  2. gkinnard says:

    Whoa—I need more explanation regarding those first three paragraphs! Have you spoke of this before? Did I miss it somehow?

    Always stand by your personal beliefs! I have no fear of standing next to you when lightning is about, if you have no fear of standing next to me under the same circumstances! We may differ a bit, but for my money I truly think we’re both safe in a thunderstorm—and in the grand scheme of things.

    • elroyjones says:

      No, I haven’t written about it before. I was the passenger in a drunk driving accident many years ago. It changed my life but not in the ways you might imagine. It was a catalyst for increased autonomy and an appreciation for my time.

      Yup, I’m standing where you are when lightening strikes. I imagine you’re taller… .

      • gkinnard says:

        Precious little makes me laugh at 6:00 in the morning, but you got it done! You’re alright in my book! I do hope you’ll write more about the accident when you’re ready.

  3. I love it when you reach in deep and pull your thoughts out. Not everyone can do that. Not everyone wants to do that. But when you do it, you reach deeper parts inside all of us. It makes us think a little harder about life.

  4. judithatwood says:

    Thank you for the insights. I still have to be careful to curb my disdain for followers of Abrahamaic religions. One all-seeing god? Give me a break. Best from one heathen non-believer to another!

  5. Pingback: Nonexistent Plan | elroyjones

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