Awards Funk

So. My blogger friend George has nominated me for a Kreativ Blogger award. I’m supposed to tell you seven interesting things about myself. I can’t think of much about myself that interests me. I know I could list 7 scandalous things about myself without much problem but I don’t think we need to revisit any of THAT.

Hmmmm, let’s see.

My father did not make any meaningful, positive, contributions to my life. However, it was convenient when he died all those times so I didn’t have to endure another day at work. Oh yes, I called out of work because my dear, old, dad had met with an unfortunate and unexpected end. I cried too.

My father’s many funerals are not the only award winning performances I’ve given. I haven’t lied in decades. I don’t have to.

One time, my husband and I were having breakfast omelets at a restaurant, the Allman Brothers played on the sound system. There was a pause in the conversation. We were infused with a magical, other worldly feeling. We looked at each other and said at the same time, “Did you feel that?” Limbic resonance, that was pretty interesting and not scandalous at all.

I was robbed once when I was a teller at a bank. I was very angry and wanted that man to get the death penalty for scaring me like that. He didn’t need to threaten me. I was happy to hand over the cash, no questions asked. I didn’t give him the dye pack or hit the alarm, no siree. I didn’t get paid to take chances. I called the cops after he was out the door. He was a career bank robber. He went back to prison but he didn’t get the life sentence I requested.

I speak Swahili, not really, but my incognito facebook profile says I do.

I’ve packed and slunk out of town beneath the cover of darkness on more than one occasion. Not really interesting but sort of nerve wracking.

Once I didn’t have enough money to pay the departure tax when I left Singapore so I had to cry to catch my flight. I wanted to go home, crying was the quickest way to get there.

I’m supposed to pass this award on. In an effort to be fair, I suggest you check out the blogroll on my home page.

The End


About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
This entry was posted in Autonomy and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Awards Funk

  1. Hmmmm. Gotta think about that… maybe after I look up limbic resonance.

  2. Now we are learnin’ stuff!

  3. John says:

    I’ve never been to Singapore, but, I will file the Crying Trick away, just in case I ever get there. Fun post… nice to know more about you.

  4. gkinnard says:

    You crack me up and amaze me at the same time: just look at how many things you can pull out of your bag on a moment’s notice!

    Having done this myself on many occasions, the only thing I respect more than somebody that’s slunk out of town during the night (there’s always a cool reason for that) is someone that’s willing to admit it!!! You made my day!

    Limbic resonance . . . hmmm . . . now I’m going to have to give that some time. But it is pretty darned cool that it happened during (or as a result of) an Allman Brothers song!

    For my money, if a person’s looking for INTERESTING, then they should look no further than elroyjones!

  5. I have a feeling you do stand-up comedy in your town and you’re just not telling us.

  6. Peggy says:

    Love the fact that you used your father for funeral leave. I wish I could do that but at some point, I’m actually going to have to do it. It was brilliant though. You won the spelling bee in 7th or 8th grade. Remember? That was a big deal.

  7. Pingback: Friendly Voice | elroyjones

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