Uncharitable Thoughts

Lately, my husband, whom I love to the brink of homicide, has been given to saying “after all this time”. The little black dress of phrases, it can be dressed up or down to suit any occasion. Sometimes he says, “After all this time you should just know.” Once in a while he says, “After all this time, blah-blah” big blue eyes, dimpled grin, and I’m a goner.

After all this time he still inspires me to uncharitable thoughts. Saturday, we went fishing, not because I was all hot to be trapped in the damn boat all day, but because I am the superior being, and he hasn’t had a day off since Methuselah was a boy. There were things I would have preferred to do; however, I am GOOD NATURED and KIND HEARTED.

We bushwhack out into the willy-wags (not really but we were a long way away from anything), get in the damn boat, ready to get underway, when I can’t find my water. I mention that I can’t find it, that it must be in the truck. I did not receive a kind hearted, good natured response. No! What I got was the nasty eye roll. I don’t take to impatience tinged with sarcasm.

Don’t you worry about me, Honey. I’m at that age, you know what I’m talking about- fluctuations and wild variances. “Officer, I have no idea how it happened. He asked for the oar, I wasn’t paying attention, and the next thing I knew I’d knocked him overboard and blood was gushing out his ears.”

I found the water, it was in the boat, but I didn’t let that keep me from thinking uncharitable thoughts.


About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
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17 Responses to Uncharitable Thoughts

  1. The nasty eye roll given after bushwacking out to the willy-wags? Somebody likes to live on the edge.

  2. Love to the brink of homicide is the best quote ever!!!

  3. gkinnard says:

    Glad you didn’t desiccate or commit homicide!

  4. We could make oars illegal but then only criminals would have oars.

    • elroyjones says:

      No doubt they’d be the most scurrilous sorts of people, malcontents! Oars don’t kill people, nasty eye rolls do.

      • Remember Evil Eye Fleegle? Shows you what a nasty eye roll can do. Did you notice that I was reading your posts in reverse order? Just trying to catch up because I’ve been playing outside instead of working at the computer — including some kayaking in which I now see the danger. Our oars even have two business ends.

      • elroyjones says:

        Better than an AK47, I’m gonna get me one!

  5. Doug says:

    The “nasty eye roll” has started many a major war. In fact, I would wager, entire civilizations have been sacked and plundered and enslaved… all due to that evil glance. And that’s your defense. And you’re welcome.

  6. Pingback: Missing Persons | elroyjones

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