Pragmatic Plan

Proper prior planning prevents piss-poor performance, or so I’ve been told. I am afraid to be sad because I don’t like it. I am afraid to lose control because, if I do, something bad could happen that might cause me to be sad. I have a strategic plan for practically every eventuality. As you may recall, I am a firm believer in Plan B, and so on through the alphabet, twice if necessary to Plan BB.

Today, I reviewed documents to be certain the essentials are in place. As I announced to my Oldest and Dearest Friend, while I beat panic back with my ball point pen, “Oh good, an unpaid note!” She laughed as she observed that most people are not happy to find an unpaid loan. I knew it was there so I was comforted to find it housed just exactly where it was supposed to be. There is no good reason for it to be anywhere else since I put it there in the first place.

My intent is to avert disaster. I try not to tempt fate by being too happy or gloating if things should go my way. I don’t make too much of the people I love, in front of others, so no one will guess how wonderfully special my people are to me. I am superstitious.

I make wishes on everything. I cross my fingers if I fib so it won’t count. A fib is not a lie, it’s less than a lie. It keeps the pace of life humming happily along, allowing me to avoid trouble from admitting that I did, or did not do, something that should, or should not have been, done in the first place. A fib also comes with a specified term- from breakfast to lunch perhaps, possibly from mid-morning until early evening, never does it last for a 24 hour period. There is one exception, the Familial Teller Exception, whereby it is alright to cross your fingers and tell one relative that you did not tell the other relatives that which you promised not to tell but told as soon as humanly possible before you burst from not telling.

In the face of all the wishful thinking, practical planning, and silly superstition it should be easy to believe in something greater than me. I can’t. If there is help to be found, it is within. I am a pragmatic planner. If something is to be done right, I will be doing it myself.


About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
This entry was posted in Human Condition and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Pragmatic Plan

  1. judithatwood says:

    Your plan sounds very reasonable to me. I hope you can keep it up!

  2. I hope that I will regain similar strength soon xx you rock

  3. If only we all had as much sense as you.

  4. George says:

    I hope disaster finds someone else to pick on. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders; I’d buy into your plan sight unseen.

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