Birthday Thoughts

Today is John’s birthday. The other day he mentioned that he socializes through his blog. I was eating polenta and pistachios (not mixed together) for lunch today, staring out the kitchen window, thinking of John and Julian’s blue vase collection and John’s birthday. I’ve been busy this week, last week too, I guess. I haven’t had a lot of spare time to be here visiting with my not so imaginary friends. I’ve been stopping in to peek around and see what’s up but for the most part I’ve been too busy to say anything. John reminded me, in his post, that this place is like a work cubicle. We commiserate, empathize, and bitch, the way work friends do.

Last Friday, a TV station salesman tried to con me into buying analytics through a television network conglomerate where we advertise. He quoted a price in October. Last week, after he finally got back to me on the project, he quoted a price that had increased 10.5x. I told him we would be postponing the project indefinitely. He told me he’d “talked to Mr. ElroyJones”… I’m sure you know how I felt about that. He was talking through me. It wasn’t his turn. I lost my composure. I raised my voice. I was on the phone and Mr. EJ had to leave the room. He was that uncomfortable. I was able to extricate myself from that escalation, saying several decibels louder than usual, “IamnotgoingtodiscussthisfurtherwithyoubecauseIdonothavethetimegoodbye.”

I hate being treated dismissively because I lack a penis. I was so mad I think I could have sprouted one on demand. In case you’re interested, Google Analytics is a great FREE tool to track website traffic; similar to WP but with different widgets to optimize marketing reports. Why would I pay that smarmy, little thief for something I can do on my own for free? He back-peddled and apologized to me on Monday. Too late! Henceforth, communication will be limited to email.

It’s still tax season. I am very nearly done with all that I have to do. Except, we have restructured our business, eliminating some things and adding others. We created a new entity that will absorb everything, which will eventually make my life easier, just not yet. Soon though. I hope.

After almost 20 years, I bought a new mattress and box spring last July.  I’ve decided I want a bed that looks like a hotel bed. I bought a new down comforter last week. It’s lovely, very puffy and warm. Our bedroom is on the north side of the house under the pines. It can be quite chilly.  I saw a gorgeous diamond pique box spring cover for just $130. I won’t buy it. I’m going to TJMaxx to get a cream colored fitted sheet for a fraction of the cost of the diamond pique. Of course, it’s more fun to say diamond pique. I will be denied that small pleasure. My husband, the advertising authority, probably doesn’t know what diamond pique is. I don’t think I’d be able to work it into more than one conversation with him.

I received a catalogue with the down comforter. I bought my comforter on SALE. I was feeling pretty smug until I thumbed through the catalogue and saw a comforter reduced from $13,000.00 (yes, that’s right, thirteen thousand) down to $10,899.00. I like the comforter I have but I can’t help but wonder what one that costs as much as my bedroom, including closets, is like. 

It’s late on  Friday afternoon. If John were here, we’d let the calls go to voicemail and have some birthday cake with ice cream. I think he likes frosting.

Happy Birthday Johnbalaya and many happy returns!

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About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
This entry was posted in Human Condition and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Birthday Thoughts

  1. Having a $13,000 comforter would be a comfort. Sleeping under it would be so comforting.

  2. John says:

    Thank you for the wish… and the laugh! I can just hear you, voice raised, on the phone.
    I hate talking to people that are dismissive…. believe me, some people are dismissive like that to anyone, even if they have a penis.

    As for the cake… the frosting is my favorite part. I’ve been known, in the past, to just consume the frosting, and forget about the cake.

    • elroyjones says:

      I knew you were a frosting guy! Me too, eating frosting with no cake, decadent and yummy!

      • John says:

        I’ve been known to just eat the canned frosting. Though, I should make my own, it’s not that difficult to make.

        Best dessert for when you just want to end up in a sugar coma: Nilla Wafers and a can of chocolate frosting. You’ll be in a sugar coma in no time, and won’t give a fuck about anything for awhile…

      • elroyjones says:

        You are so funny! Nilla wafers and a can of chocolate of frosting- oh yeah, kindred spirits.

  3. Okay… the penis part shocked a laugh out of me…
    Years ago my wife and I were buying our very first new car. The salesman started to try to add things on, and then said that the interest rate was going to be higher, or our pre-approval was going to cost more or something. My wife started to argue. The salesman looked at me and said something that sounded a little like ‘ why don’t you let the men talk about this, little lady’…
    I just looked at him pityingly and stepped back. My wife reamed him a new one. I would have been useless. But I bet he still remembers that day.

  4. Pink Ninjabi says:

    Happy Bday to him! 😀

  5. judithatwood says:

    !!!!!!!!! They’re all so much alike! Happy belated to John.

  6. Pingback: Happiness Appears | elroyjones

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