We’re Only Trying To Help Poor Fat People Stop Being So Gross, Say Republicans

Political commentary from an objective, English observer.

new friends, better friends

When the United States lost the race for the Most Offensively Fattest People in the World to neighbours Mexico earlier this year, the Republican Party, far from being furious that America no longer ruled the globe by girth alone, decided that maybe the right to bare forearms without all that disgusting skin hanging down, ugh gross or what, wasn’t such a bad idea so hey, America, we’re gonna save you from your lardy self.

This week the GOP put their plan into action to wean decent, hard-working Americans off their addiction to spanx but there was a huge fuss and people got all mad and instead of being grateful that someone was literally looking out for your fat ass, America, folk got all sniffy about it.

Huh?

But why else would Republicans in Congress slash the food stamps budget by $39 billion if not to ensure that the 47 million…

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About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
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4 Responses to We’re Only Trying To Help Poor Fat People Stop Being So Gross, Say Republicans

  1. hebe in dc says:

    Thanks again! Really kind of you.

  2. Sure, take the Brit’s side.

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