I was happy to read that methadone is used to treat addicts at the Penobscot County Jail. You’re lucky to be there, at Cumberland County inmate-addicts just go through withdrawal because there isn’t enough money in the budget to pay for methadone. (She refused treatment and went through withdrawal on her own.)
I wonder if you know that money and things are not equal to love.
Time and effort are proof of love, thoughtfulness is proof of love, enthusiasm is proof of love.
Someone who loves you will make that known to you in a thousand small ways.
People who love you and care what happens to you will establish boundaries, lines that you must not cross because they love themselves and you enough to say, “I will not tolerate this behavior.”
I hope you’ll give that some consideration. If no one has bailed you out of jail it’s because they don’t want to watch you destroy yourself. Jail is, at least, a safe clean environment.
I hope you’re going to meetings, even if you’re only listening. I hope you’re not feeling guilty and miserable.
Guilt is a wasted emotion, Honey.
The thing to do is accept where you are today and think about where you’d like to be in the future, imagine the sort of strong independent woman you will become. You’re not all washed up, there’s a lot of life left to live and who knows what kinds of wonderful things will come your way.
Be patient, this is a temporary setback. Do the things you have to do to make it through and think of the things you’d like to accomplish with the rest of your life. You have ability Kayla, put that ability to work, become the person you want to be. I sincerely hope that person is not a Kardashian. ( She wrote back and asked me for the Kardashian book Selfish.)
Each day is a fresh start on a happy ending.