I know you can do it, I KNOW you can. You’re doing a great job of thinking about things and accepting responsibility for your life. You’re trying hard to make a plan and get it all together.
That’s what it’s all about- showing up and saying “Yup, I did it and now I’ll do what I can to fix it.” Some people never learn how to face themselves and own their mistakes but YOU have.
You just do what you can for today and be patient.
Kayla, I meant what I said before- there is no point in feeling guilty about the past because you can’t change that. You are a good person in a bad situation. The only person you need to prove anything to is yourself. The people who love and care about you just want you to be safe and happy. I know your family has been worried frantic about you because they love you. They love you and they worry and they might even yell at you but they’re just so relieved to know you’re all right. Don’t take it to heart if someone yells or if they’re so mad they don’t speak, they’ll come around just like I did with Joe. People get mad because they’re scared; they’re scared for you because they LOVE you.
I wish I could tell you something wise about your kids. The good thing is they’re safe with your mother. I’m sure they love and miss you; you’re their mom. I wonder if raising 3 toddlers was just a bit stressful for you? Maybe there are some classes or counseling sessions you’ll be able to attend to learn how to manage that stress.
Life is stressful, Honey. The trick is to learn to be in the moment, right here right now, take a nice deep breath and do what you can. Don’t worry about what might go wrong in the future, stick to your plan and look for some small thing that makes you happy. Happiness is everywhere you are. Just find a memory of a happy time and know that you’ll have more happy times in your life. I’ll keep writing. I look at the jail log every morning to see if you’re still there. You’re okay and you’re going to continue to be okay. I think you’re right and your dad is with you. I found adult coloring pages online, printed a couple for you.
Each day is a fresh start on a happy ending.