Lawn Poop


Good Gawd!!! There is so MUCH that annoys me at this moment. I’d like to cry in frustration and rage that The Donald is the very best the GOP can do. “They” must have the lowest possible opinion of all of us out here. You know who we are, we’re the working slobs. We’re happy to have the infrequent vacation, delighted to rent a limo for our kids to go to the prom in, EUPHORIC to pay our bills on time, in full. Yup, we’re all good little citizens doing our part to make America GREAT.

Here in the hinterland I’ve been told that Hillary wants to annihilate the Second Amendment so we’d better arm ourselves and if The Donald is elected we’ll be shooting people in the streets. I think that’s happening now, actually. Our electrician friend told us that. Could I just tell you the gun sellers are loving every misguided minute of it, counting cash as fast as it can be printed. You know how I am…I had a debate with one of them and tried to explain that it would be a slooooow, arduous, process to annihilate the Second Amendment. He didn’t like to hear that, told me how much he loved the flag.

Let me be very clear about a couple of things. My husband likes to have an expensive, new toy on occasion. Those toys remind him of his long gone youth. Last year, or maybe the year before-it’s happened twice, a deer was hit by the car in front of him and he had to shoot the poor thing to put it out of its misery. It broke his heart to see the deer looking up at him. He swears the deer knew it was going to die. Personally, I think the deer was in shock. My husband isn’t going to do anything with a new weapon. He thinks he will use it, on the big bear that has been terrorizing the neighborhood, during bear season. He’d like to have a drone too so he can spot the bear without having to leave the back deck. The overpriced weapon has a long range, whereby he could shoot the bear without having to look it in the eye. This is the same man who is angry that it is legal for hunters to bait bears with doughnuts.

We all need to come together in this epiphany- if society continues to deteriorate and weapons become an ill advised necessity, we’ll all be living in Thunderdome. We will be dirty, hungry, and without the comforts we’ve become accustomed to; a nice warm bed and the peace and quiet, which promote a restful night’s sleep. I do not want to be dirty, ever. My advance directive states that I do not want to live if it becomes apparent that I can no longer bathe myself and wipe my own butt. I am a strong proponent of personal cleanliness. When I go to bed at night I like to tuck right in for a restorative, peaceful, sound, sleep. Gunfire would be an impediment to resting.

In addition to the chaotic national/global situation, I’m forced to deal with a potential customer whom I do not like one teensy bit. I wouldn’t give this person a drop of blood if life depended on it. Quote me. I like the woman, who stopped in our driveway last weekend to let her dog crap in my yard, better than I like this potential customer. Although, if I am ever in Virginia again I think I’ll go to her house and poop on her lawn. The potential customer has no money. Typically, that doesn’t trouble me at all. If you can’t afford to pay but you are in desperate need, I get it, been there myself and I’ll help you as much as I can. If you’re going to ask me to help you, you need to treat me with basic human dignity. I am not your servant and the man you insist on calling “The Owner”, like maybe he has some authority over me, is not the boss of me. Let me enlighten you, Genius, “The Owner” is my husband. He doesn’t like you any better than I do. We’ll help you because you’re so unpleasant and nasty that nobody else is going to.

So there you have it. I’m disgusted through and through. I’ve had enough. I read a few things about ALEC, another topic that delivers dismay. Beyond that, we’re again working for the 1%. They don’t look at laborers, even their dogs don’t look at laborers. I think they must miss a lot that way.

About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
This entry was posted in Human Condition, Politics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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