Benevolent Nuns

A while ago, I posted something on facebook about benevolent nuns (is there another kind?). A childhood friend, who’s discovered, too late, that a wasted life brings regret, implied that I hadn’t experienced adversity, remorse or heartache of any description. He went on to suggest that my head was up my ass because I’m here and he’s there. My feelings were hurt. I’m disappointed still.

My friend was a favorite of Mum’s. She was loyal to his potential, regardless of the evidence that he likely ripped her off at every opportunity. She wrote to him while he was in prison. My mother was a comfort to the incarcerated. It wouldn’t have been a surprise to learn she became a master file cake baker.

So my friend, seeing only what is on the surface, and not bothering to explore what is beneath, thinks I’m an asshole who married better. No one likes him. I do; like my mother, I’ve been convinced of his unexcavated gifts.

I think of her nearly every day, usually more than once. I wish she’d lived to see what home looks like. It’s not her style at all but her influence is everywhere. She’d recognize it. I overheard her tell someone once, “Elroy knows how to present work, she has an eye for it.”

I’ve been struggling. I feel ungrateful. Tonight I looked at the walls and wondered at the accumulation. I wished she could see the work I’ve collected. She’d see the humor in it. She was familiar with benevolent nuns.

 

About elroyjones

Married, no children, responsibly self-directed, living happily.
This entry was posted in Friends & Family, Human Condition and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Benevolent Nuns

  1. John says:

    Hello! I’ve been cleaning out blog posts on my old blog, Johnbalaya, and have enjoyed re-reading our interactions in ithe comment section. I’ve not blogged much in the past few years – the last year of mom’s life left me with little energy, and in the time since, I’ve been dealing with some mental and physical health issues. I’ve recently started blogging under my own name. I’m finally feeling the words starting to flow.

    I hope that you have been well. I imagine that by now your home is finished. Or, maybe you’re constantly tweaking things around, always in need of a little project to keep the mind from going too crazy.

    My new blog is just my name … johnfrancisnooney dot com or, if you care to, use my name and add an at gmail dot com and drop me a note. I would love to know how you are.

    • elroyjones says:

      Oh John, yay! So happy to know you’re here! I am sorry to know of your mom’s passing, feel that virtual hug. I will visit your new blog as soon as I can grab some time of my own, maybe even by this weekend. I stopped in today to see if I could remember the password and, lucky me, you were here!

      • John says:

        I’m glad you’re still here too. We’ve never met, but I’ve felt that we’d be really good friends if we did. As it is, I think you’re one of my best online friends.

        Yes, mom died in Feb 2017. The last year was rough as her mobility declined (she had to be lifted into the chair, from chair to wheelchair, onto the toilet, etc.) and her dementia worsened. I’m glad that she still knew who people were, even if she didn’t always remember their names. She was 93, so she had a good life. I miss not having new mom stories to share. Though, I plan on revisiting them on the new blog. I’m moving forward with things on the blog, but also want to collect many of the old things here, so everything is in one place. Maybe you’ll remember a story or two if you read them!

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