I have favorites. I know, shocking and scandalous! All of us know people we like more than others, let’s not pretend otherwise. Recently, we attended a very small home wedding. Today, during my union break, I looked through a correspondence folder I’ve been keeping for the bride. I found this.
16 October 2012
My dearest Little Red Haired Princess,
I loved seeing YOU. I have been thinking all about you and, for reasons that are not entirely clear, it has been unsettling. You’ve reached a pivotal place in your life, a place that can seem filled with resignation- “This must be all there is; I thought there’d be more than this.” I suspect seeing your friends have babies and marry (traditionally, it’s the other way around but I haven’t seen a lot of tradition lately) and seeing your parents and me plodding along, doing the same things we’ve always done, isn’t exactly awe inspiring. You’re out there in the world only to discover the world is lacking some of the things you hoped to find.
I was 24 when all of my friends began getting married (for the first time) and 25 when you were born. It appeared as though everyone but me knew what they were doing. I was the only one of my childhood friends who was unsettled. I remember panic and worry that I’d always be out there loose, alone, without a plan. No one could articulate to me that my life wouldn’t always be so confusing, that it would take shape and I’d find my place in my own good time.
My message for you, LRHP, is that patience and time will reveal the life that brings you satisfaction and intermittent happiness. No one is happy all the time; happiness appears in short bursts in between boredom, confusion, and weariness. You are loved by friends and family alike. There will always be a number of places where you will be welcome and safe. Take your time looking around. Get yourself an apartment if that’s what you want, a year is a drop in the bucket, don’t be afraid of the commitment and don’t be afraid of failing at independence.
Life is a long walk, meant to be taken slowly, enjoyed for all the simple pleasures it offers. It is not about reaching one final goal, it’s about the little treats along the way. That is the TRUTH, I promise.